Sunday, September 18, 2011

I Digress......

I was just thinking about my friend, Debbie, who passed away about seventeen years ago due to a drug overdose.  She and I were extremely close for many years and were, as they say, attached at the hip.  We looked and acted so much alike people often thought we were sisters.  And, indeed, our families and a small, close knit group of friends celebrated holidays, birthdays and other special occasions together, usually at the house she shared with her boyfriend and eventual husband, Dave.  Deb and Dave were the core of our rather unconventional "family" and we all affectionately called them Maw and Paw, though we were all about the same age.

As is often the case, we grew apart as one by one the members of our group drifted away,  moving to different parts of the state and/or the country.  Though we were spread out all over, Dave always seemed to keep track of everyone.  We rarely saw each other, but did still manage to get together once in a while.  Then, after 20 plus years together, Dave and Deb split up and there was no contact for a long while. 

My daughters kept in touch with Dave's daughter and it was through her that we found out that Debbie had fallen on hard times and was heavy into drugs.  Dave tried his hardest to help her out both financially and emotionally, even after they were divorced but even he had to give up eventually.  I heard from Debbie a couple of times after that and even saw her once.  I wired her money a few times when she called to say she hadn't eaten in a while, but deep down I knew it was going in her arm.  The last time I spoke to Debbie on the phone, I begged her to come out and stay with me until she could get back on her feet but, though she said she would think about, I knew it wouldn't happen. Then I got some really great news when her stepdaughter told me that Debbie had entered rehab.  I was ecstatic and sent her a birthday card with a little cash in it so she could get cigarettes while she was there.  After she got out of rehab, she seemed to be doing well and was living rent free in an apartment owned by her ex-husband.  I was so certain Deb was on her way back to that vibrant woman I knew and loved!

That was just a few months before I moved from California to Michigan.  About a year and a half later, I found out that Debbie's neighbors and friends had found her in her apartment, dead of an apparent overdose.  I was devastated and, as I was inclined to do when I was sad, I wrote a poem about her.  Following is my tribute to this beautiful, loving, giving woman who had played such an important role in my life.

L.A. WOMAN

L.A. woman, New York born and raised,
You lived your life so hard and fast but there was a price to pay.
L.A. woman, the bill came due too soon.
You were shooting for the stars, but you fell behind the moon.

So tall and proud, you drew a crowd
No matter where you were.
Quick to smile, you had such style
You always caused a stir.

They never knew what we might do
When we went out to play.
The two of us would cause a fuss
Then laugh and walk away.

Through thick and thin you were my twin,
You shared my joy and pain.
I watched your back against attack,
You sheltered me from rain.

But in the end, though we were friends,
Still I couldn't help.
I wasn't there to hear your prayer
Or save you from yourself.

L.A. woman, New York born and raised,
You lived your life so hard and fast, but there was a price to pay
L.A. woman, the bill came due too soon.
You were shooting for the stars, but you fell behind the moon.

Rest in peace sweet Debbie.

12 comments:

  1. that so fits with the word loyalty. You made me cry again Fran. Knock it off. Good writing and thanks for the story.

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  2. great story ..I've lost loved ones to the same thing...and almost myself.. I'm glad I'm here to read your story..and you are right you can't help..but it still hurts..(HUGS)

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  3. Sad story. I'm sorry you lost your friend. Otherwise, great blog. It touched my heart.

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  4. How beautifully written. You made me want to reach out to her also. You had a wonderful friend and a huge loss and I am so sorry for that. The poem is marvelous and heartbreaking.

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  5. How terribly sad. A part of our hearts never leave those handful of friends who become family, and no matter how much time passes, they're still there.

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  6. A very sad story. That poem is a powerful tribute, wonderful.

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  7. Powerful story--sad--and touching. Great post! Cheers, Jenn.

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  8. Sad story, lovely tribute poem.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

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  9. ((Hugs)) I lost my mom that way--she died in the hospital, but same reasons. She had also attempted rehab. I'm sorry for the loss of your loved one.

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  10. I can feel the love despite the years and the distance. I am so sorry for your loss, but glad you can blog out her memory to keep your friend and the relationship you cherished alive in some way.

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  11. I really enjoyed the story and poem about your friend lost. You've inspired me to write about a friend I lost when we were 16. It was untimely and we were joined at the hip for many years before..barbie doll days.

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